While writing this book review, I decided to Google the word “Courtship”.Thefreedictionary.com defines courtship as “the act, period, or art of seeking the love of someone with intent to marry”, while brainyquote.com defines courtship as “The act of wooing in love; solicitation of woman to marriage.” Others define courtship as a process of selecting a mate for marriage.
In his second book, Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, Joshua Harris defined courtship as “dating with a purpose. It‘s romance chaperoned by wisdom. It’s a way of approaching relationships that can help us live out the truths of God’s Word as we pursue our heart’s desire. It’s a story of boy meets girl, where –whether you choose to marry or not – you can get to know each other in confidence that you have only God’s very best ahead for each of you. ” Actually, while reading the book, I can’t help to smile. Why? I’m so happy and deeply blessed that there are people like Mr. Harris who still believes in the idea of courtship. Why I had said that? Well, it is inevitable that most teens and most young people like us rush into a romantic relationship without complementing it with commitment and wisdom. Sometimes due to the intimacy of our emotions we tend to follow what our emotion directs and just go with the flow without thinking about its future effects. Because of emotionalism, people could make unwise decisions with matters such us love and commitment that would eventually result into broken hearts and sometimes even to fornication which may lead to early pregnancies.
What I love about the book is that it helped me to see that I should not pursue romance unless I could reciprocate it with commitment and I am prepared enough for marriage. Just like what Josh Harris always says “the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.” Why should I pursue romance if I am not yet ready to get married? Why should I pursue intimacy if I could not render it with right amount of responsibility? I will just play games with love and just compromise my purity. I could not serve God fully if I cannot give my whole heart to Him. The book helped me to see clearly that God is a God of second chances and of a million chances. He does not keep records of our sins once we confess it and repent for it. Once we repent, God wants us to take a hundred eighty degree turn from our sin. He wants us to turn away from it. It helped me realized that God is the author of our lives so therefore he should also be the one to write our love story. It also aided me to see that God’s sovereignty should be manifested in all aspects of our lives.
I like how Josh Harris expressed these ideas in one of the chapters of his book. He said: “It’s not enough to simply have romantic feelings. Anyone can do that! Long-lasting romance needs practical, common-sense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express our emotions and when to keep quiet. When to open our hearts and when to rein them.”
As ladies and gentlemen, we should fix our eyes in Jesus and trust His perfect timing. For everything there is a season under the firmament of heavens. God has great plans for us just like what Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. All we need to do is to exercise our faith and trust Him completely. Our season of singleness is a gift from God. It is an opportunity to enhance our God-given talents and abilities to be the lady or to be man that God wants us to be. Ladies, our future husband does not need a cute and preppy girlfriend that he could display to all the people around him. He does not need a walking mannequin that is filled with a lot of ornaments. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says that our beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. He needs a Godly wife who would love him whole heartedly and who would serve him with respect and care.
Gentlemen, your future wife does not need a suave and brusque husband. She does not need a boy next door cutie who does not know how to take charge to the responsibilities of a man. Guys, you should set as an example. God commanded the wives to submit themselves to their husbands. Therefore, you should be a good steward of your future wife and of your future family. God made you man for you to face the challenges and commitments of man. In conclusion in this book review, I learned that it takes courage and faith to be the Godly lady or man that we dreamed of. All of us dream to have a better half, someone whom we could cherish and someone whom we could spend our life with. All of us desire to have the “perfect” love story that we could be proud of. All of these can happen if we entrust anything in God’s Hands. In our own way, we will always fail and we will always feel lost, but with God, all things are possible. If it is according to his will, your heart desire will come true, but if it is not, learn to wait and trust God completely. He is the one who mold you in your mother’s womb and He knows the deepest desires of your heart. Be patient and faithful. Don’t lose heart and keep on pressing on.
Soli Deo Gloria